So as I start this journey of finding and realizing myself, I can’t help but step on the scale and see where my starting point is. Well, if pounds would equal elevation, let’s just say I am at my high point on the mountain and can’t wait to start down the slope. And please, don’t even ask what my current weight is. I don’t mind if you come along for the trip, but what if you recognized me out on the street? I still have that whisker on my top lip so it is possible!
But maybe this time is different. It feels different. Maybe it is my age. Maybe it is the years of wisdom or failure. Whatever. I know that this time I am not going to be obsessed with the number aspect of it. I truly do want to get to know myself. Both inside and out.
I wonder if I saw a picture of just my calf, would I be able to recognize it? How about my shin? or my elbow? or really even the back of my head. God knows I don’t pay attention to it when I am doing my hair. I know all of the self-help books out there would be telling me that you have to get to know yourself truly before you can identify your strong points. And that makes sense. For so long I think I have been saying to myself that I know my strong points because I defend myself on my strong points, but when I think that, am I really only concentrating on the non-tangible things about myself? I know I have good ethics and morals. I am not religious or even spiritual but I know the difference between good and evil; and for the most part I chose the good side. And I realize that if you are living your life being good to yourself and others that moral scale doesn’t change if you have less body fat. But if this is the only physical body that I will ever have, shouldn’t I know it top to bottom?
So I have arrived at the tipping point on my scale. I am making a promise to myself that I won’t see a higher number on it when I step upon it. That is unhealthy. Both physically and psychologically. I am going to find the right balance of diet and exercise that fits me and my life. Maybe I will see only a pound drop, maybe only half of a pound. And I will be okay with that.
The Bad Example 