Oh, so much has happened since the last time we spoke. Nothing that landed me in jail or anything, but still, things that were big enough to be considered life changes. And like a bad penny, or maybe a better way to say it here is, like a bad example of a penny, here I am again.
Have you ever had things happen in your life that caused you to stop your routines? Things that occurred that changed your everyday life just enough to throw you off kilter. Life went on, but things still seemed just a little off to you. Well, that was what happened to me. If I thought about it I probably could pinpoint the reason, but at this point, why the fuck would I do that. It’s best to move on from that shit. And moved on I have.
Those little mundane routines are starting to come back to me. And a nice thing is that I am finding the comfort in those. Even something as small as making the bed each morning is so enjoyable again both as I walk away from it at the beginning of the day and as I walk towards it at night. The sheets seem to feel cooler and softer. My pillows are fluffier. Crazy I know, but true.
And it’s not just about straightening my bed each day but straightening, well … me. I haven’t gotten to the point to where I look like a million bucks each time I go to the grocery store, but I don’t scare small children anymore and my husband is starting to walk with me instead of behind me when we go out in public. It feels good to feel good enough about myself each day to want to look nice. I missed that.
But I am not stupid, I know that my depression will show up again at some point. I just hope that it won’t be me that invites it over. That’s what I believe happened this last time.
So, here is to small routines, like this blog. May we both find joy in it.