Although I have never been particularly fond of nicknames, or the name Howard for that matter, I have always secretly wanted to be called Baby by someone for all of my life.
To have that nickname though, or pet name of Baby to someone, that would mean my whole personality would have to be different. You see, even when I am at my lowest, when I am wallowing in a puddle of snot and tears, I still can’t help but be a strong person. And although there are others out there in this world that would love to have that strength, I am here to say that it can be quite the burden at times.
For those of you out there who know what I am talking about, you understand what I am saying. And not to pull the feminist card, but I truly believe that this burden is felt deeper by us strong women.
It takes so much strength to mold children to be good human beings in life, to fix the little cracks that start to show as they age and hide the cracks that show up on ourselves as well. It is one thing to be a good mom as they are growing up, it is entirely different to remain one as they realize that you are just human.
Even more strength is needed day to day to find and excel at a 9 to 5 job to help pay the bills. But it is more than that. After wiping poopy butts and snotty noses day in and day out you have to be strong to find that job that helps show yourself and the world that you are more than just a wiper in life. It takes strength to recognize the intelligence that you have and even more to show others that you have it.
To keep it all together, and I mean all together, like your looks, your sense of humor, your home, your family, your finances, your friends, your neighbors …. this requires so much strength. It is no wonder we break from time to time.
When I was younger, I would often daydream of Keanu Reeves being my boyfriend. He wouldn’t say much, just look really sexy and wind blown. It is weird because now, I just daydream of my husband putting his strong arms around me and whispering “It is all going to be alright Baby, don’t worry, I will take care of it.”
But I am who I am. I wouldn’t have it any other way, I guess. Not at this point in my life. Posting this today I didn’t intend to turn into some kind of Successories poster or to make myself out to be a female martyr, I think I just needed to get this out of my head and down onto paper. That helps sometimes. And maybe I just needed to remind myself that I was that strong person that has gotten me through so much in life.
Being someone’s Baby in this lifetime is just not in the cards for me. But that’s okay. I am a strong woman, I can take it.