Okay, well, if you haven’t noticed, the last few weeks have been a little rough for me. I thought by staying off of this blog for a period of time would help me get through this little rough patch without announcing to the world that I am close to a nervous breakdown. But the lure of journaling reeled me back in. Apparently, though, the tone of my last couple of blogs have caused concern with a few close friends so I am thinking it is time to switch gears.
I have decided to start drinking.
Not the sloppy, fall down drunk type of drinking; just the cool, taking-life-one-sip-at-a-time type. And I will walk around my condo with one of those ginormous wine glasses alternating between lounging on my furniture in a flowy MuuMuu and swirling my swill while taking on an Irish accent. Or maybe I will have bourbon. Hmmmm ….. life does seem so much more easy thinking of it that way.
I remember when I was a wee lass my little gang and I would pass the time pretending that we were drinking. Yes, that is how fucked up my childhood was. We used to put butterscotch candies in a small glass of water and pretend we were drinking Scotch. And those little barrel root beer candies in water and stagger around the house acting drunk on beer. Ah, good times.
But in my life now, I just can’t see myself swirling or lounging; it would probably be more like chugging and hurling. You see, I have never been much of a drinker in my life. Never could develop a taste for beer. And now that I think about it, maybe it was because it really doesn’t taste like watered down root beer candy. I barely know the difference between white and rose wine. In fact, if I hadn’t have watched a few seasons of Housewives of New York, I don’t think I would even know what Pinot was. Thank you, Ramona!
I do love Amaretto Stone Sours though. Mmm mmm mmm. Actually just thinking about one of those makes my mouth water. My boys and hubby would argue that even when I am drinking one of those I don’t have any real fear of blowing .08 for a copper. See, the way I make my A-S-S’s, the orange juice is the main ingredient, not the splash. But who cares, at least I have decided upon a path to happiness and I am not sitting around crying and bitching anymore. And although some people would say that it isn’t right to turn to the drink to ease one’s pain, what is the difference between drinking liquor and eating a Big Mac? How do other people get through these patches?
Yes, there is the Lord, but obviously, He hasn’t been listening to me and my pleas since, well, EVER. Weed isn’t legal in my state yet and exercising my frustrations away just makes me more frustrated thinking about it. Should I start meditating? I can’t even clear my mind enough to go to sleep at night let alone sit quietly for 20 minutes thinking of nothing but my breathing.
So sipping a cool alcoholic beverage sounds absolutely divine right now. And maybe I will start experimenting with my drink. Something fruity, or maybe I should check out Pinterest. There is always some type of watermelon fizz vodka concoction recipe there I can turn to. And if all else fails, I could always drop a Watermelon Jolly Rancher into a glass of water and call it a day. Ooh, a spark of excitement has already crept into my otherwise dark life.
Maybe I have more of a drinker in me than I thought!!
Wish me luck.
The Bad Example 