The Bad Example

You know, whenever life hands you shit, what are you supposed to do with that?

Accept it? Be thankful that it wasn’t worse? Get used to it? That just isn’t me. Nope, when life throws shit my way I seem to take that opportunity to put on a good old fashioned shit show.

These last two weeks have been one crappy thing happening after another.  And believe me, I know that there are people out there that have a lot more serious problems than I have but it doesn’t make getting through my day any easier. Think about that for a second, if the thought that someone else was having a more horrific day than you made you smile, well, that would make you an asshole, not lucky.

Nope, in my world, it just seemed like there were so many things being thrown at me. And although I did see my doctor, who by the way is a total dick with no bedside manner to speak of, and he did prescribe some new medication for me, it only made me nauseous and my lazy eye even lazier; it didn’t help.  So at that point, my body, mind, and spirit just kicked into autopilot and decided to take over my whole personality. And it hasn’t been pretty.

Let me give you a little example.  Early Saturday morning, when I talked myself into getting out of bed and doing some physical activity, I discovered that a homeless person had taken a humongous dump in the alley right next to the dog run for our building, where I might add, I was trying to sit in zen-like silence with my two pups and breathe in the beautiful morning air. Besides scaring my dogs by its size and girth, the whole pile just pissed me off and put me over the edge.

Now, probably at any other point in my life, when things had been going better on a day-to-day basis, I would have shaken my head in disgust, cleaned it up and quietly pondered on the question of how low does a person have to be to go into an alley and poop. But, nope, that time was long gone.  I snapped. I had reached my limit.

I marched right over to the closest park bench where several seedy-looking characters were sitting and was very close to making each one of them give me a stool sample when Neighbor Nancy came by and happened to chirp Good Morning to me.  That pissed me off too. After telling her about the foul deed that had been done to all of us in the building, and getting her smug, sympathetic response of “Well, that’s what we get for not having public bathrooms downtown” I think my head actually exploded. It was at this point that I informed Neighbor Nancy that the next time I saw the Mysterious Pooper starting to take a squat in the alley, I would graciously bring him up to her door so that he had a softer area to shit on. The look on her face …. well, let’s just say that it did me a lot more good than that crappy medicine my doctor prescribed.

I am not sure what this week is going to bring for me. I hope better stuff than last week, and the week before that, if we are being honest. But if it doesn’t, I know one thing; the shit show will go on.