The Bad Example

If you have been following me for any length of time, you have probably already guessed that I like to cuss.  Is it curse or cuss? Either way, I like it! And I think I know why.

When I was a kid, it was a guaranteed smack across the mouth if we even said the word fart in front of good ol’ mom and step-pop. Funny how every other word that came out of their mouths were cuss words but it turned into another control method that they both used to torture each of us.

I think it is for that reason as well as the fact that saying a good line of cuss words sometimes just helps me decompress.  I have a good friend that is the nicest guy and one of the things that my kids and I love about him the most is how much he says the word “fuck.” He has the ability to work that word into any subject that he is talking about. Talking about the weather? “It’s fuckin’ hot out there!” Talking about people driving? “Fucking psychopaths!” Talking about his beautiful little girl? “Isn’t she so fuckin’ cute?”

And I don’t have an issue with this. I think it comes down to the fact that I truly understand that words have only as much power as one gives them. Think about the fact that when we have children, we take a huge amount of time in selecting the perfect first and middle names for them. Yet in our day to day lives, we only utilize that middle name to signify that they are in trouble.  Why else do we have middle names? I really can’t think of any real good reason. So we give that middle name power. Kind of like a middle finger only dressed up in a name.

For me, whenever I hear the name Howard I cringe. I hate that name. Good old mom and step-pop always thought it was funny to give us kids nicknames. And not for nice reasons.  They weren’t cute like Quinny-Bear or Sweetpea.  Nope, they were mean and ugly names that caused each of us pain and embarrassment during already awkward childhood years.  So to me, hearing the name Howard sets me off. Can you guess that was my nickname? I saw the power that that name had over me.  It was crushing. But to others, it is meaningless.

What strikes me as horrible when it comes to cussing is people who act so righteous, dignified, and horrified when they hear a cuss word like “fuck” yet they say some of the most hurtful and judgmental things to other people without saying any cuss words at all.

Who is the better person? The one who cussed and didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings or the one who judged and felt it was their place in life to put someone else in theirs?

Language is the least of our worries.  I wish everyone would stop hearing how someone is talking and the words they are using and just listen to what they are saying. I promise you it will have a totally different meaning.