Yesterday was my birthday, and I have to say, I can never see what the big deal is with celebrating birthdays. Now don’t misunderstand – it is not that I don’t put a lot of stock in birthday celebrations because I am scared of getting older, hell, that is going to happen whether I want it to or not. I guess I just have never seen the big deal about that type of celebration.
When I was growing up, having a birthday really only meant you might not get smacked that day and good old mom and step-pop always made you feel like the guilty one for going and having a birthday when they couldn’t afford it because damn it, cigarettes were expensive. But even if my childhood would have been rosier and the family bank accounts fatter, I don’t think I really would have ever gotten the handle on celebrating my birthday.
What are we celebrating? The fact that we are still alive? The fact that we are one year closer to death? It just never has made sense to me. And when did the human race start celebrating birthdays? Ah, the birth of Christ, right?
Nope, that can’t be it. You see, I am such a skeptic when it comes to subjects like this because I really do feel that the celebration of birthdays is just something that we humans made up to a) make money in the greeting card and wrapping paper business, b) have an excuse to give or get a present and/or c) make others feel shitty because they don’t have as loving and caring parents and family members as others do.
You see, that is one thing that I feel we do to each other every day when we celebrate birthdays and we hide it under the guise of celebrating or following traditions; we remind other less fortunate people just how less fortunate they really are. And for what? To recognize that we are one year older? Who fucking cares!
If we just started treating aging with respect and acknowledged that the increase in one’s age came with experience and knowledge, younger people might start respecting their elders. Instead, we continue to celebrate birthdays with party hats and cakes shaped like boobs to show how funny and “young” we still are. Society has made getting older into a joke, and not a very funny one at that.
So don’t throw yourself a party to celebrate the day that you popped out of a uterus, take a look at your life and see what it is that you want to accomplish and where are you at on that timeline. If you haven’t even gotten started in doing what you really want to do with your life, then celebrating your birthday is idiotic. Because in reality, you are just celebrating the fact that you are a lazy, good for nothing deadbeat that hasn’t even gotten started on doing something important with their life.
Maybe a boob cake would be appropriate for you then.